7 Everyday Spanish Culture Shocks That Still Surprise Me
Before we get into it, a bit of context: I’m American, married to a Spaniard from Madrid (More about me and how The Spain Edit got started here.) We live in the U.S., but over the years I’ve picked up on a lot of things—small and not-so-small—that have stood out to me when it comes to Spanish culture. I haven’t lived in Spain full-time, but I’ve spent a lot of time there with family and friends, and these are the Spanish culture shocks that surprised me most along the way.
🇪🇸 Quick Take: What Surprised Me About Spanish Culture
- Cheek kisses! Even from strangers
- You have to ask for the check
- Dinner at 10 p.m. is real
- August? Nobody’s working
- Free food with your drink
- Three-course lunches are normal
- Spanish from Spain can sound rude (it’s not)
The Double Cheek Kiss: A Spanish Greeting That Surprised Me
One of the biggest Spanish culture shocks for me was how normal it is to greet strangers with a double cheek kiss. The first time I met one of my husband’s coworkers—at an event in the U.S.—he leaned in for the double cheek kiss. I, naturally, went for a handshake. The whole thing lasted about three seconds, but felt much longer. I was used to doing the double kiss with family, friends of my husband, etc., but I was not really prepared for that with a stranger from my husband’s job, and frankly I didn’t love it but no big deal.
In Spanish social customs, the double cheek kiss is pretty standard—even if you’ve just met. It’s not intimate, and it’s definitely not romantic. But if you didn’t grow up with it, it can feel a little bit too friendly, or even invasive. I’ve gotten used to it mostly, but there are times where I just can’t really get on board with it.
Learn more about Spanish greetings on Spain’s official tourism site.
Spain Dining Etiquette: They Don’t Bring the Check Unless You Ask
We are so accustomed to waitstaff checking on us constantly, refilling water, clearing plates right away, that I used to think this was “bad service.” We’d be sitting there after lunch—plates cleared, coffee gone—and no sign of a bill. Fifteen, twenty minutes. Nothing. The first few times this happened I thought maybe we offended someone, or the waiter had gone home for the day.
Eventually I learned: they don’t bring it unless you ask! It’s not rude, it’s not lazy—it’s intentional. In Spain, you see the server when you order and when you pay. A meal is something you’re expected to enjoy, not escape from. Tables are yours until you say otherwise. And after you eat, you stay—sobremesa is the norm: sitting around, talking, lingering. No one’s rushing you out.
Now I find the American version kind of aggressive. Here’s your check. No rush, but also, please leave. Spain says: stay. Order something else. You have nowhere better to be. Definitely one of the positive Spanish culture shocks!
Why Everything Happens Late in Spain (Except Work)
In the U.S., we love our 6 p.m. dinners (this includes me, would do it at 5 if I could tbh.) If you’re visiting Spain, expect dinner at 10 p.m.—yes, that’s really part of everyday Spanish culture. Lunch at 3. Social plans that start late, go long, and don’t feel rushed. Except for work, which starts at a standard hour. People still get up, get dressed, and go to the office on time. Then they come home and eat at an hour that feels, to me, kind of insane!
I’ve tried to get on board with the schedule during visits, but it’s not easy when I work from there and have to get up at a reasonable hour. I can usually get people to compromise on a 9pm dinner though.
August in Spain: Why Everything Slows Down
Every August, my husband keeps working while all his coworkers in Spain (and other European countries) disappear. No emails. No meetings. Just automatic replies that say something like “See you in September.” It’s expected, and just the way it is (lucky ducks!)
Not everything shuts down completely—but it slows down a lot. Many small businesses close for weeks at a time. It’s also really common for offices and bigger companies to shift to “summer hours,” which often means shorter workdays and staggered schedules. Most people take at least a couple of weeks off in August, and some take the whole month. People work long hours and get burnt out just like everyone else, but unlike in the U.S. it’s not unthinkable or even particularly uncommon to take several weeks off.
If you try to get anything official done during this time—anything involving paperwork, deliveries, phone calls—it might take longer. Spain, more or less, is on pause.
Yes, You Get Free Tapas in Spain
This one felt like a scam at first, I thought for sure this was going to show up on the bill even though we didn’t ask for it. You order a drink (usually beer), and they bring you a small plate with it. Sometimes it’s olives, sometimes it’s jamón and bread, sometimes it’s something fried that you can’t quite identify but will definitely finish.
There’s no catch (except that it’s not always something that amazing.) You didn’t ask for it and you’re not paying extra. It’s just part of the deal. My mother in law is usually straight up outraged if she orders a drink and they don’t bring anything along with it. This is very confusing coming from the US, where nothing is free! So I assumed it was a scam for tourists and that this would appear on the bill later despite not having ordered it. But it’s not! To be fair, I do think they do this so you stick around longer and order more drinks, but on the bright side it’s definitely nice to have a snack when you are subject to a 10pm dinner.
What Makes the Menu del Día in Spain So Great
The first time I saw a three-course meal in a sit-down restaurant priced like a Sweetgreen salad, I assumed it was a typo. But in Spain, the menu del día is not a tourist trap—it’s part of local life. Starter, main, dessert, bread, wine, maybe a coffee or dessert. All for like €15!
It’s not a gimmick or a tourist trap. People take their lunch seriously and don’t apologize for it. You sit down, talk to the server (because there’s no laminated menu with QR codes), and take a few minutes to eat like a person.
I am kinda all about lunch when I go to Spain because of this and also because it’s tough to eat dinner at 10pm and go to bed after, so I try to take full advantage of the midday meal.
(Side note: there’s an interesting history behind this, which I’ll probably get into in another post.)
Directness in Spanish: Why It Can Sound Rude (But Isn’t)
The first time I heard my husband order at a bar—“Ponme una caña”—I was slightly taken aback by the directness. No greeting, no “could I please,” no smile. Just give me a beer. To a native English speaker it actually sounds a little aggressive. But it’s not at all – just straightforward.
One of the biggest Spanish culture shocks for Americans is how direct the language sounds. This was when I was just starting to learn Spanish and had recently visited Mexico. I sat down in a restaurant, super proud of being able to order in Spanish, expecting to be called “usted” or at least “Señorita,” but no. The bluntness really surprised me at first. I even thought the waiter was mad at me, or had said something rude, or maybe he just didn’t like American tourists (understandable!)
But once you realize it’s just how they talk, it stops feeling rude. There’s no fluff, no “if you don’t mind,” no “whenever you have a second.” It’s not about being polite or impolite. It’s about getting what you need and moving on. I still find it difficult to drop all the padding around ordering in bars and restaurants.
💬 Your Turn
Have you ever experienced any Spanish culture shocks—or somewhere else? I’d love to hear what surprised you most. Drop a comment or send me a message over on Instagram @thespainedit.
